20 | she/her | aggressively uncool

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Elmer Fudd’s Letters Home

thisdanobrien:

May 14th, 1972

Dear Mom,

Hi Mom! Gosh, where do I start? The weather’s been good (perfect for rabbit season), sessions with my speech therapist seem to be going well (I hope to be able to wish you a “MERRY” Christmas this year, not “Mewwy.” That’ll be my gift to you!) and I’m making lots of friends.

But holy cow, all I REALLY want to talk about is this girl I met. Sorry, this woman. I met someone, Mom, someone special.I know I have a habit of rushing into things but, Mom, I think she’s the one. She’s so beautiful, she’s so sweet (but still kind of sassy) and she doesn’t even seem to mind my speech impediment. She accepts me, just when I thought that kind of thing would be impossible. She’s so confident, she’s on another level, I just want to give her everything to see what she can make out of it. What she even sees in a dummy like me is anyone’s guess.

OH, and best of all I met her while hunting, if you can believe it. She’s into hunting! She was just out in the woods and I found her—well, we found each other. We didn’t even speak at first, because we didn’t NEED to, there was just this CONNECTION. Instantly. So much went unspoken, it was like we were waiting for each other. She wasn’t shy about approaching me and, bizarrely, I wasn’t shy either, because we just worked together, immediately. We kissed! Right when we met! I love her. I LOVE HER!

I don’t think I knew what love was, before. I had a dim understanding of it, from movies and songs, and I remember what you and Dad were like together, but until I met Her, I only understood love anecdotally, as a bystander. I finally feel like I’m a participant, and I never thought I would be. Beyond that, I feel lucky. I’m not saying “I’m lucky because I get to be with her,” I’m saying “I’m lucky because I get the privilege of loving her.” Do you understand that, does that make sense? Even if she didn’t love me back, I will forever be grateful just for getting the opportunity to love her. Because I know what my life was like before I loved her, and I don’t even think I would call that a life, now. It feels so good to love her, to have love inside of me, to feel what normal people feel. I get to love her, do you understand? I get to. I’m allowed to. I weep at how lucky that makes me. Mom, I weep.

Listen to me, going on and on about this woman. We’re supposed to meet up in the woods again tomorrow. I’m going to ask her if she wants to go dancing with me. I don’t really dance, but I know most women like doing it so I looked up places that offer Salsa lessons for couples and there are some affordable ones in my area. I figured a dancing class would be a nice date. We can be close and we can talk, and we can move together.

I’ve rambled enough. I gotta get ready for tomorrow. I don’t even know how I’m going to sleep!

Love and Respect Forever,

Your Son Elmer

PS I know things must get lonely around the house since Dad’s passing, but remember that your “Lil’ Elmmy” loves you and is always thinking about you. I wish I could be by your side right now, but of course I have to try to catch and sell enough animals so we can afford to keep the house (I’ve included a check for $25; it’s all I made last week). It’ll get easier, Mom, I swear to God it’ll get easier. It’s going to be a good year. I can feel it.

_______________________________________

May 15, 1972

Mom,

Disregard previous letter. It was a boy rabbit in a dress. I don’t know why he did it. Don’t ask me about it.

PS I don’t think I ever learned how to be happy.

-Fudd

cracked:

See what they all have in common? Aside from being paintings?
6 Mind-Blowing Discoveries We Just Made About Famous Art

#6. Portraits Usually Show the Left Side of the Face Due to a Weird Brain Bias
Sam Kean, author of The Tale of the Dueling Neurosurgeons, studied this weird phenomenon. He says that if the choice of which side to depict was totally random, we would find that gallery collections have roughly a third of all portraits facing straight forward, a third facing to the left, and a third facing to the right (obviously). However, studies show that this isn’t the case — about 60 percent of subjects sit with their left cheek facing the viewer, their left eye practically in the middle of the painting. It’s twice as common as it should be.

Read More

cracked:

See what they all have in common? Aside from being paintings?

6 Mind-Blowing Discoveries We Just Made About Famous Art

#6. Portraits Usually Show the Left Side of the Face Due to a Weird Brain Bias

Sam Kean, author of The Tale of the Dueling Neurosurgeons, studied this weird phenomenon. He says that if the choice of which side to depict was totally random, we would find that gallery collections have roughly a third of all portraits facing straight forward, a third facing to the left, and a third facing to the right (obviously). However, studies show that this isn’t the case — about 60 percent of subjects sit with their left cheek facing the viewer, their left eye practically in the middle of the painting. It’s twice as common as it should be.

Read More

juniorbizarre:

speaking of things in the tune of, I have a bag of raisins in my pantry labeled “California Raisins” and I consistently hear it in my head to the tune of “California Dreamin’” I can’t escape it

caaaliiifornniaa raaiisinns on such a winter’s daaayyyy